So Kanye and Jay-Z have released what the music media mega fawns say is the most anticipated album of the year. Originally it was going to be a 5 track EP, then they announce a full length album.
Released a few teasers.
Now I have it.......
Watch the Throne.
Yeah that's the cover. Its a bit in your face over the top glitz and glamour bling kind of thing. Trying too hard. Like it was designed by a fucking fashion designer or something. Oh wait. It was.
But I'm no fashion critic. I'm a music critic. Or am I?
This is the internet - I'm whatever I want to be. Today I wear two hats.
The album cover is shite. The name of the album. Shite.
Has not started well. Hope the music lives up to the hype
A bit of history.
So I'm a big Kanye fan. Or was. Well am again. Sort of.....
Once upon a time I apologised to Kanye for slagging off his My Beautiful Dark twisted Fantasy (apology / review -
here) Anyway, crux is - I miss the young Kanye. The guy who produced his own songs, who broke new ground, who changed the game, fearless. The guy who used samples - not synthesisers on his first 2 albums. Then he went all synth on Graduation, then even worse on 808s with autotune & synths.
Then sort of redeemed himself on MBDTF.
Fuck I hate synthesisers. and autotune.
Jay-Z I really think is over rated. Sure he has the Platinum Albums, street cred and approximately $650 million more dollars than me, owns an NBA team, record labels and has 11 US number 1 albums. But im just not the biggest fan. Except some of the stuff that Kanye produced.
So......
with that in mind I' m thinking this
could be good.
After a week of on and off listening, i locked myself away with the headphones for a few hours and this is what I got.
1. No Church in the Wild Featuring Frank Ocean
Cool riff opens, synth over the top (not too bad, i can handle it) Jay-Z does his thing, then the auto tune. Jeezus i hate autotune. Almost kills the song. Kanye comes in, tell us how a "line of coke on black skin is a stripe like a zebra", he "calls that jungle fever."
meh. Just a song.
2. Lift Off Featuring Beyonce.
Its a fucking Beyonce song! I hate Beyonce. I hate Autotune and I hate Synthesisers. And I hate Beyonce.
Fuck me. I thought Jay-Z sang about the "Death of Autotune" last year. wish it was the death of Beyonce. So Beyonce sings, the other two some shit rapping in between.
So anyway....... dont like this song.
3. Niggas in Paris.
Hmmm. Sounds like a Jay Z song. basic beats. Even the sample dialogue from Blades of Glory cant save this, except to explain the title -
"I dont even know what that means"
"No one knows what it means, but its provocative"
Abd that sums it up - a waste of time.
4. Otis Featuring Otis Redding.
The first song on the Album produced by Kanye. And the first good song on the Album. Surprise? No!
Sampling a guy that died 45 years ago is NOT featuring. Its sampling.
Yeah but i like the beat, the sample, the lyric.
Good song. (finally!)
5. Gotta Have It.
Produced by the Neptunes and Kanye. A song that
almost gets there. Sounds like a Jay Z song featuring Kanye West produced by the Neptunes and Kanye. Oh wait it is.
6. New Day.
Opens with autotune of Nina Simone singing "its a new day" - not a great start. So Kanye and Jay rap about what they would do say teach their kids. oh heart warming.
But ultimately a shite song.
7. Thats' my Bitch.
Apart from the overtly mysoginistic overtones here, I like this song. Not least because of the sample of Public Enemy's "Brothers gonna work it out." (well really its a James Brown sample but it sounds distinctly PE to me) Nice female vocal, good flow from both. Produced by Kanye.
8. Welcome to the Jungle.
God this is terrible. A bad Jay- Z song produced by Swizz Beatz Who? Mr Alicia Keys.Even name checks Axl Rose. Yeah just bad. Corny.
9. Whos Gon Stop me.
Christ it sounds like a Rick Astley remix with some distorted Jay Z shit over the top.
Now they are taking the piss.
10. Murder to Excellence.
Yeah - this starts good. real good. Good sample, good beats, good rapping from the two. Then it changes halfway. Oh thats 2 songs? Murder & excellence. How trite. But we get the 1st sample on a 45 speed. Hey wait! Thats Kanyes - he invented that shit and he is not even producing this song. Homage. I don't know.
A decent song.
11. Made in America featuring Frank Ocean.
What the fuck.
Sweet King Martin
Sweet Queen Coretta
Sweet Brother Malcolm
Sweet Queen Betty
Sweet Mother Mary
Sweet Father Joseph, Sweet Jesus
We made it in America
Sweet Baby Jesus, ooooh
oh sweet baby Jesus
We made it in America
Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, We made it in America
Sweet Baby Jesus, ooooh
Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, We made it in America
Yeah.
That is bad. real bad.
This album is now nothing more than a piss take designed to see which hangers on in the media will rate it.
12. Why I love You.
CLEARLY a Kanye West production. Sounds like a Jay Z song of course, but a reprieve. Maybe they thought if we put it last they will forget the other shit?
So then they decided to give us some bonus tracks.......
13. Illest Motherfucker Alive.
I does not start until 3 minutes in - thats annoying. And its just a song.
14. H.A.M
The single they released 6 months ago and it does not make it on the album. Says a lot! its fairly ordinary. Uptempo fast beat. oh who am i kidding. its bad.
15. Primetime
Starts well, like the beat and sample.but it ultimately does nothing........ just peters out...........
16. The Joy featuring Curtis Mayfield.
The last of the Bonus tracks. Bonus tracks on a shit album are you guessed it - shit.
In Summary.
Dont believe the hype.
I loved Kanye. He produces his own work. Jay Z - he doesn't I have no love for him.
So when you put the two together and hire a whole heap of producers and about 27 different writers?
You get a mish mash of shit. There are maybe 3 good songs on the album.
I genuinely like Curtis, Thats My Bitch and Why I love you.
Murder to Excellence & gotta Have it get a pass mark.
WAIT......
They were going to do a 5 track EP originally you say?
Shit - those 5 tracks I just said i liked - that would have been a killer EP.
But they got their egos involved and their wives and all of their friends and went and fucked it up for everyone.
A mark out of 10?
If we just take the 12 album tracks - And I like 3, dont mind 2 others, we get to 5 out of 12 which equates to 4.1 when scaled to 10. But that's simplistic.
Watch the Throne - 4.5 / 10
If you want to read more heaped on this - here is my favourite review -
http://rapsandhustles.com/2011/08/11/ghostface-killah-watch-the-throne-album-review/